The only thing left to to mention before you embark on your career as a rock critic is that talent has absolutely nothing to do with it, so don’t worry if you don’t know how to write. Don’t even worry if you can’t put a simple declarative sentence together. Don’t worry if you can only sign your name with an X. Anybody can do this shit; all it takes is a high level of unconsciousness and some ability to sling bullshit around. Also, the bullshit is ready-made; you don’t even have to think it up, all you have to do is invest in a slingshot. All the word-type you need has already been written anyway. It’s in old issues of Shakin’ Street, Rolling Stone, Creem and all the rest; just sit around reading and re-reading the damn things all day and pretty soon you’ll have whole paragraphs of old record reviews memorized, which is not only a good way to impress people at parties and girls you’re trying to pick up with your erudition, but allows you to plagiarize at will…It’s the same shit all over. Just stir and arrange it every once in a while.
Quote from How to be a Rock Critic & Here’s How: A Megatonic Journey with Lester Bangs (Shakin’ Street Gazette #15, 10/10/74)
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