Infinite love is who we really are and who we refuse to be. This refusal is our most essential tension. Our bittersweet sex life is a clear reflection of this push-me-pull-you drama between our deep desire to be open as love and our reflexive clench for safety and superficial self-esteem.
In sex, we desire to lose our superficial self completely in overwhelming bodily joy, but we also fear this loss of self. We long to merge with our lover so deeply that our vulnerable hearts are one light, but we also resist this oneness. We ache to let go of all protection and enter nakedly into unguarded love, but we are also afraid of this vulnerability.
We yearn and hesitate to give our deepest depth of being which is God's depth - through sexual love. This openness of being is all there is and who we are, and yet we stand divided and protected. We refuse to trust.
The enlightened sex manual
David Deida
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